Mamazen

Wicked

Today was quite a wicked day, in many wicked ways.

I woke up with a wicked headache after being awake most of the wicked night. Partially from insomnia, and partially because my wicked sweet daughter also had trouble sleeping. Along with the wicked headache was  a resurgence of my wicked cold... sinus pain, coughing up phleghm (blech!) and body aches... pretty sure there was a fever in there somewhere too. My wicked fabulous mother in law took said child and sent me back to bed, where eventually I slept for 3 more wicked hours. 

Upon my second wake up of the day, I felt even more wickedly sick... so i took a wicked long shower and made my wickedly helpful husband a grocery list and sent him (and child and grandma) shopping while I knit on the couch on a wicked cute baby dress. i didn't feel much better as the wicked afternoon wore on, but after a rousing snuggle with Ruby, and another viewing of Finding wicked Nemo, I finally dragged my wickedly sick ass off the couch... got into some wicked sexy girl shoes and a hot dress... and headed out on the town.

We finally have a kid who wants someone else to put her to bed, so we took ourselves out for a wickedly awesome grown up date night. We went to Jakes (wicked) grill and i had a wickedly perfect rib eye steak and beet salad. Then we went to see.... Wicked!

You didn't see that one coming, did you? 

Honestly? it was fantastic. The set was beautiful and entrancing, the costumes beyond Oz, the music/singing delightful, and the cast was superb. I love musical theater! We shared a wicked beer during the second act and when it was all over we bundled up and headed out into the wicked cold (ok it's not that cold, but it is supposed to snow tonight!). My own cold seemed a little better with the joy that is the theater, we headed home to see how our wickedly sweet tot fared. 

Sadly, she had been woken up by the wicked cats fighting (not something they normally do) and was completely confused by Grandma being there not mama or daddy. Poor little peanut had apparently been inconsolable, but Grandma, being wicked smart... brought her downstairs and put on her fave bedtime video and she calmed right down. By the time we arrived home she was back in bed, but when she saw mama and daddy she melted down again. Poor kid was pretty confused. Apparently she was cool with someone else doing bedtime, but expected us to be there when she woke in the night. Next time we'll try to prepare her better for that part... altho usually she sleeps pretty soundly till at least midnight, so I didn't expect her to wake at all. Grandma was a little traumatized too, seeing her grandbaby so very upset. Everyone will survive, that's for sure, but there was and will be a lot of snuggling. And i'm pretty sure tomorrow someone will be wickedly clingy.... and that's ok cause I missed the little peanut something.... fierce. 

So now here it is 12:20 am.... ooops no it's actually 1:20 with the spring (wickedly stupid) forward time change, and I'm not sleeping. My cold is still kicking  my wickedly tired ass, so I took some cough meds and they should kick in soon. I'm hoping for a wicked good night sleep, but will settle for decent. 

I'm sure there are at least 5 things in there, but I'll line em up for you anyway.

Grace in small things 19/365

1. catching some extra zzzzz
2. long hot showers when you ache all over 
3. husbands doing the grocery shopping, and putting it all away. 
4. finding nemo. gotta love those turtles 
5. sexy shoes 
6. having no less than 4 strangers (all men even) comment on your dress 
7. realizing how sexy your husband is when he's dressed up 
8. musical theater! love love love!! 
9. free babysitting aka grandma.    
10. The weight of rubys body on me as she settles in for sleep. Seeing her distressed is so hard, but feeling her release and let go is like coming home.   

  

6th folder 6th picture

My friend rockin granola did this fun meme on her blog, and I wanted to play!

The rules are simple:

- open your 6th photo folder

- post the 6th picture

- share about your picture

- tag 6 more to do the same

So, here is my 6th photo from my 6th folder:

this was from September 2008. Ruby needed some messy fun time, so I put some shaving cream and food coloring out on the deck for painting. She had no desire to paint the paper... just herself. She's more of a performance artist. ;) 

Who's up to play? I won't tag you... just comment that you're doing it and get to work!

iPhone blogging

Who knew a new phone could rock so hard? Yippie!

refashion, fashion?

Today during nap I decided to do a little wardrobe refashion. The jeans didn't fit, and they never fit well, always a little poochy at the hips. So... I tried turing them into a skirt. I left the seams unfinshed, so they will wear a little (the hobo look I have been calling it). As soon as I was done, the little and I decided to go for a walk....
Hey, I may not match but my feet are dry!

made in… where?

With all this press about toys made in china being recalled, I've no doubt been called many times to Ruby's toy area to look at what we have there. Thankfully, I've not had to throw away anything. She's too young for many of the toys listed, but also we've been picky about what we've bought, and lucky about what has been gifted to us. Our families and friends love to make gifts, and have also been so respectful about purchasing what we ask for her. We told all the grandparents that for xmas and birthdays, no more than 3 gifts (please :) ) and wooden or cloth. We also requested battery free toys at this point. We don't mind things that make noise, for crying out loud, THIS is one of our favorite things around here! but we like things that Ruby can make the noise, or that she has to elicit the noise from. It's a lot more fun for her to play the harmonica than to have a toy that just constantly makes battery operated noise. A lot more fun for everyone, trust me!
Anyway... I have spent some time going through her toys, putting some things aside to be passed on, some things to be saved for future siblings (if we are so lucky). I've been happy to see so many beautifully hand made gifts. A doll made by my mom, wooden rattles made by my dad, soft cloth balls made by my friend Celeste, etc. I was also pleased to see so many things that were on 'safe' lists, made in the US, Europe, Thailand, or India. I'd like to think that all of this was planning, but most of it was pure luck.
Even before we ventured into compacting, I've always been a fan of spending a little more to have something better quality, not made in a sweatshop, and now I'm even more a fan of it. I don't mind spending a little more on a pair of pants that will last a long time, especially if they were made in fair trade.... same with toys. I'd rather Ruby have 10 toys she loves that were produced safely and lovingly, than 30 toys that are not. I want to raise her to thing consciously about the things she has and wants, and to truly love the things she has.
It's one of the things I love about de-cluttering, getting rid of the things I just don't need and love, and truly loving the things I have.

Good lord…

When did I become such a bad blogger? Oh yeah... when I went and had a baby. ;) I also used to think about interesting things, knit and read books. hmmm... I still think interesting things, but most of the time I get distracted and start playing peek-a-boo instead. I still knit, but only about 3 stitches a night instead of 3 hours. Books? well I just went back to the library for the first time in over a YEAR... and then I picked up my new copy of Harry Potter! So some reading has happened during naps and after bedtime. Ah, reading till my eyes are heavy is one of my favorite ways to fall asleep!

So... compacting... let's just say I'm off the wagon. I haven't cleared any clutter in MONTHS. And just yesterday I looked around and felt like I needed to. (I'm not saying my house/office didn't need it, but I just started feeling it closing in again yesterday). I haven't had much time or need to go thrifting. I have bought a few new objects, but not many. I had a slew of birthdays last month, and while I usually make gifts, I didn't have time or energy, so I did do some birthday shopping. I shopped locally, and tried to buy gifts that were renewable/reuseable. Camping gear, books, gardening stuff.

My baby girl had a birthday. We had a fun little party and gifts were kept to a minimum. I made her a secret bunny. It's a softie with a pocket so that each year on her birthday, i can put a note/treat/gift inside for her to find. Just thinking about her future birthdays fills me with glee and tears all at once. Imagining her as a 4 year old, giddy with excitement for her birthday morning... it's things like that, that I live for. Her daddy made her a ride on toy (also in the pix) that she has yet to ride. I think she's still a bit afraid of it.

So June was taken up by birthdays and camping and just being... not a bad way to spend a month, eh? July has been more of the same, including lots of berry picking, jams, pies and cobblers, a trip to the beach and many afternoons in the sun in the back yard. Another good month. I'm sure August will bring more of the same, and who knows when you'll see another post here!

I don't know about compacting goals... I'm not feeling any desires to shop, as I've never been a huge shopper. I need to clear more clutter, but don't have a burning desire to clear it. so... who knows where that will go from here.

Crafting... I've finally gotten back to the sewing machine, and have finished a few more pairs of shoes. I have decided that I need to craft to feel balanced, and why not make a little $$ at the same time? If I can make enough to feed my craft habits (or the habits I used to have!) it will be worth it. So... in the near future I'll be opening up a little etsy shop for shirts, shoes and other baby trinkets. Stay tuned.
I've gotten some knitting done also, but nothing to show just yet. I have cast on a new dress for Ruby, similar to the anouk, but a dress, not a pinafore, and I'm changing a few things. We'll see how it turns out. I also have a soaker on the needles and a soaker skirt/pants that needs to be finished. I'll get some shots soon, hopefully.

As far as balance in my life... I've realized how i need to swing more balance back toward my family, and I'm taking steps to get there. I decided at the end of may that leaving my baby three times a week to go to work and see patients sucks. I miss her. I want to hear her squealing with delight over the cats tail, and snuggle her when she falls. Since I can't quit working (unless we win the lottery) I'm doing the next best thing. We're going to renovate our basement (yes, I'll try to give a blow by blow, complete with pictures) and I'm moving my office home. The plan is that I'll have a nanny with Ruby during my treatment hours, and I'll be able to work just as much as I do now, but since I won't have any overhead, I'll actually make money instead of just break even. I can pay my student loans and even put money in the savings account. Most of all, I'll spend less time away from my precious nugget. I dont' think this will be any less stressful than what I'm doing now. In some ways it may be more stressful... but I think in the long run, it will make more sense for my family. And isn't that all that really matters?

Shopping culture

Just returned from a trip to Key Largo, FL. My first time in FL, and it was enjoyable. It's hard to spend 10 days on vacation with family. Very hard. I'll leave it at that...
One thing that compacting has done for me, is made me really aware of how others shop/spend. My desires when I go on vacation center around having a good time, and experiencing the things around me. I want to eat the local food, see the sights and explore the area. I don't enjoy going SHOPPING. I just don't enjoy going to a new place just to buy stuff. I'd rather SEE the butterfly conservatory than spend money in it's gift shop. I'd rather play on the beach and in the water than wander through the shopping district. I'd rather eat at the amazing local restaurants than buy a glass/mug commemorating it. The only memento I try to purchase when on vacation is a christmas ornament. Every year as we decorate the tree, we talk about each ornament, and where it came from and how much fun, etc. So buying the ornament is really contributing to wonderful family time, and that is never a bad thing.
At one point on our trip, someone was buying a t-shirt or a mug or something, and Ryan mentioned wanting one. I had to put the kibash on it. What are we going to do with ONE MORE MUG? i asked him.The only commemorative mugs that I really love are from the B&B we went to on our wedding night, and on our anniversary for 8 years (until they sold it!). I really don't need more crap... really I don't.
And the people in my life don't need it either. I had figured if i came across something that seemed appropriate for our house sitters as a thank you, I'd get it (and I did, Key Lime pie mix... yum!) but I didn't want to purposely SHOP for stuff. It's just me, right? Apparently not.

Well, anyway, we spent money on our trip... we rented a boat one day and went snorkeling. It was worth every penny. I saw a school of barracuda (um scary) and a school of parrot fish (awesome) and a school of baby squid (a pre-school?hahahaha). We spent money eating at great restaurants, eating amazing food and laughing together.

Way better than a mug, eh?

April, already?

Dang. How did I miss March? Um maybe because I either travelling, preparing for travel or recovering from it... Never the less, March has come and gone, and what did I do?

1. did some great thrifting. (see prev post)
2. did some decluttering - 10 bras, 20 pairs of underware, at least 20 pairs of socks and 30 clothes items.
3. decluttered and organized the craft room. OMG did that feel good. I got rid of 75 (yes Seventy-FIVE!) items, and one huge bag of fabric/yarn. One of the overall goals I have for this year is to find more time (and space) to craft, and re-organizing my craft/guest room is key to that. Since I got it mostly done, I bought a used storage unit (rubermaid with drawers! for $20) and need to clear some space in the closet for it, and fill it up with all of the stuff that has no place to be. I could easily spend an entire weekend working in there, and I should... but alas, we got home from vacation and I have a little (albeit icky) cold. So I will not be shuffling through craft supplies.
4. I had some FUN in March, a trip to SF/Sac, a trip to Eugene to see my parents and a trip to Florida. But man I 'm tired of travel. And, I'm done with it for a while, thank g-d.

So... over all - march goals - decluttered 155/500 items. Not bad. :) None of these items have actually made it OUT of the house though... that's the goal between now and the 17th.
What's happening on the 17th you ask? why it's TREASURE MAP TIME!

This is my first year doing a treasure map but not my first experience with the concept. Basically it's a good time astrologically and energetically to ask the universe for what you want in your life for the next year. For 3 days you put together your 'map'... some people do a collage, some just write words, some paint, etc... The energies shift in just the right day during those three days... you just need to be clear and put it out there. Part of getting clear, is clearing your clutter... physically, mentally, energetically, etc. So... i've got some work to do.

The physical clutter is mostly in the basement. I box things up, and somehow, some one (RYAN) shoves it all in the basement. He has agreed to help me get it (as much as we can) out of there.

The mental and energetic clutter, well, that's in my basement too, and Ryan isn't the one who shoves it in there. I'll take the blame on that one, Bob... and I know it's hard to NOT do that also. I am really good at taking my feelings out every once in a while and looking at them... then I just shove it back down there. I have trouble actually getting RID of the clutter. I'm not a grudge holder by any means. Actually, just the opposite with most people in my life. Most of the time, when I'm hurt or annoyed, I talk about it (either to the person, or with my confidants) and get over it. There have been a few times where someone hurt me (or annoyed me) one too many times and I just kicked them to the curb. Not really holding a grudge, but getting rid of their presence in my life. (Clearing the friendship clutter, no?) No I don't hold a grudge against other people, just myself.
Right now the biggest piece of clutter in my heart is recovering from the trauma of Ruby's birth. I'm not going to write about it here, as I have a private journal that I keep all my deeper, more personal thoughts in and that is a more appropriate place to put those things. I don't have any illusions of working through all of it before the 17th, but I'm trying to clear some of it out and forgive myself for what I view as my own failure (when my logical mind knows it wasn't). TOday is the day that Ruby has been OUT of me longer than she was IN. It's a big day. And it's high time I looked at my grief and guilt around how she came into this world. I also carry the emotional clutter of infertility. Since that hasn't cleared out even WITH the arrival of miss Ruby, I know that there is some work to do around that too.

So... lots of clutter clearing to come. This morning Ryan went through all of his drawers and closet, and I got half way through my closet before someone needed milk and a nap. And currently she'll only nap ON someone, so she's asleep on my chest, and quite frankly, I love it.

Not decluttering today

So after my post last night I was all jazzed to get up, vacuum and then declutter a drawer or two, maybe the closet. Nope. not gonna happen. Both Ruby and I are sick sick sick. Had a bad cough all night and now have trouble breathing. Not fun around here. SO we're spending the day in bed. Playing, crawling, coughing, snuggling.

I wouldn't say I'm enjoying life, but at least I have my sweet Ru!

Goals

So, in keeping with my two inspirations for this blog change (Adina and Kara) I'm going to start by listing my goals for 2007. I'll work on my official 'pledge' next but for today, some rough goals.
I'm not one for resolutions, they seem to never work out, but when I have clear simple goals, they can be attainable and satisfying. So with that in mind, here we go!

1. Clear the clutter I have overflowing closets and drawers, with clothes that don't fit, clothes that I'll never wear, and things I'm just too old for. I have a kitchen filled with items we'll never use, and that end up falling on my head when I open a cupboard. I have a craft room filled with endless possibilities that I'll never get to. I have a basement with a lot of junk in it. So....Out it goes! Goal #1 is to clear 500 items of clutter a month. (whew, that is scary to type, but if they can do it, so can I!) Things can be gifted, sold, donated or just plain trashed. Obviously not contributing to a landfill is my #1 goal, so trash will be the last option.

2.Save money Financially, we are doing alright. Saving money isn't so that we can pay bills. Saving money is so that after the bills are paid, we have space to ENJOY life, and to plan for our child's future. All of the tenets of the compact will lend to putting more money away, and less in the system.

3.Grow my own foodIn our first house we had a huge garden, and enjoyed fresh veggies all spring and summer. Once we moved three years ago, getting the yard managed was a huge task we just couldn't seem to tackle. First it was a money issue, then the depression of infertility that seemed to keep us huddled indoors all summer. Finally, last year we invested in an amazing landscaper and had the yard mostly finished (mostly - except the veggie garden). So...Grow it! This will entail getting Ryan to build the beds and help clear the space for the berries/fruit... and then we get to growing. I'd like to think that by next fall I can learn a little about winter growing, and keep a cold box (or is it a hot box) with something in it, but I'm going to keep this goal reasonable and just use the long growing season of the PNW and grow as much as we can. I think we'll join a CSA in the winter, depending on how our friends experience with it is. (and then maybe, if our garden is rocking, they can take the summer with CSA off next year, and share in our bounty!)

4.Keep a clean house(Adina, you have good goals, and I'm stealing them) I've (with the help of a great partner) been able to keep a tidy space, but with all the clutter, it feels like we are tidying all the time. People always say our house is always clean when they come over, but that's because I just cleaned it before they showed up. I'd like to keep on a regular schedule of cleaning so that it doesn't feel overwhelming, and that it becomes routine and easy. I bought a simple calendar that lists chores etc, and so far its helping... although SOMEONE I know has something brewing, and I'm going to be a test case.

5.Enjoy life What good is any of this if we don't enjoy life? I need to take time to knit, craft, write and expand my brain. I need to get out and walk in the sun. I need to meditate and stretch. I need to socialize with other mamas. I need to see the world and play in all it's wonders. This is a goal I try to achieve regularly anyway, but I like writing it. My goal around this is to do something AT LEAST ONCE A WEEKthat fills this need. I'm thinking I'll change that to once a day in a couple of months, but like I said before, attainable goals make for a happier mama.

So there are my rough goals. I may flesh each of them out more specifically later. But for now, I'm going to go work on my pledge. :D