Mamazen: 60 months. FIVE YEARS OLD.

60 months. FIVE YEARS OLD.

My dear, sweet, amazing Ruby,

Today at 1:46 pm you turned 5 years old. How does that happen? How does it happen so very fast? It feels like just one minute ago you were wrapped up tightly in my body, not wanting to come out making me work harder than I'd ever imagined

and the next minute you were wrapped like a burrito looking into your daddy's eyes for the first time

and then there you were, and you were mine and I'd known you all along, even though we had no idea who was in there

I knew I would love you until my heart no longer beat, and I knew that you were so very worth the wait.

Now, here we are 60 months later, you're FIVE. FIVE? It's almost too much to bear.

We spent your birthday weekend at a cabin in the woods

where you learned to fish with your daddy

Played with your iPad and loved every second of it

Lay on the dock, watching spiders and throwing rocks in the water (you also fell in the river, scaring both of us half to death)

and of course, you spent plenty of time with pen and paper

You learned how to play tetherball (sort of) and you wore your Daddy's favorite hat

You had a snowball fight with your Daddy in June and you won! Then you looked for tracks in the snow (probably a cow, thanks Elmo's animal adventures) and blew our minds with your awesomeness.

All in all you had a fantastic birthday weekend, you turned five and you are fantastic. Autism didn't win this one, you did. Don't get me wrong, autism showed up for many parts of our weekend, but it wasn't autism's fifth birthday, it was YOURS.

Quite frankly, I'm still amazed on a daily basis that I am someone's mother. I'm honored that I am YOUR mother, that you chose ME to guide you through this beautiful yet sometimes challenging world. I'm floored by you on a daily basis, the heights you reach, the things you attempt, and the pure unadulterated joy you bring to those around you.

My dear sweet Ruby, you are my sun and moon, the stars and rainbows, my laughter, my light, and my breath. You are my greatest joy, my sharpest ache and the reason I rise every day. You force me each and every day to live in the moment, to focus on the now and yet also to keep the future brewing in the back of my mind. You help me to see the smallest of details, while simultaneously keeping the big picture in view. You are very worth the long long wait it took to bring you into our lives and I would do it again, ten thousand times over.

Happy Happy Birthday my sweetest girl.

Thank you for giving me the title I so yearned for,

Mama

Posted at 10:20 PM in monthly love letters | Permalink

Comments

Weep. Weep. Weep. From the video to the pictures to your beautiful words. Beautiful. Happy birthday Ruby. And happy birthday momma and daddy. Love you all.

Posted by: K | June 20, 2011 at 10:26 PM

Happy 5th Birthday to Ruby and Happy 5 Year Anniversary to you for becoming a Mother!

Posted by: jstar | June 20, 2011 at 10:52 PM

Happy Birthday, my precious Ruby! You have blessed our lives to no end. Being your Nana is the very best thing ever! You have brought so much joy to everyone who meets you and I know that no matter where I am, and wherever you are, you will be in my heart. All my love, ~ Nana

Posted by: Leticiatmout | June 20, 2011 at 10:53 PM

Happy Day, Mama! Happy Day Ruby!

Posted by: GingerB | June 20, 2011 at 11:46 PM

*sob*

Happy birthday, Ruby! How are they FIVE already?! It's so very big and yet there is so, so much more to come. Love you all!

Posted by: Sarah Barker | June 21, 2011 at 05:58 AM

Dear Sweet Ruby,
Happy, happy 5th birthday to the sweetest girl ever!! I miss you so much. I cherish every picture I see of you with your cheery smile and twinkling eyes!! I think about you every day. Love & kisses - Grandma

Posted by: grandma | June 21, 2011 at 09:09 AM

What a lucky mama. What a lucky Ruby. Love to all.

Posted by: lady pumpkin | June 21, 2011 at 04:29 PM