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January 14, 2011

Comments

Johanna

You are amazing. You are amazing regardless of you having a daughter on the spectrum. But you really show your amazingness now that you have this amazing little girl. I'm not saying it's easy, but you're working through it. You're not looking for people to feel sorry for you. You're not looking for someone to take away your problems. You're dealing with your emotions in a reasonable way and giving so much of yourself to ensure your daughter has the best chances at the best life you possibly can during difficult circumstances. She couldn't have been given a better mother than you. I adore you.

kim

What Johanna said.

I <3 u.

Laura

Here's my truth: I don't know how to talk to Ruby. I can't relate to her on the intimate level that you do, but I think she deserves acknowledgement even if she can't reciprocate. I mean, if I say, "hey, nice dress!" and she just stares at the couch cushions or moves the wheels of a car around with her finger, that's cool. Or does that stress her out? Does it stress you out? I'm woefully uneducated, especially since from what I've gathered, every autism case is unique.

lady pumpkin

Grieving the loss of what we expected--that's a huge life lesson. Thanks for writing this.

korin

Wow, Laura, thanks for such a really honest and great question. I think the fact that you acknowledge her, comment to her and say hello is really what matters. Not expecting a response or getting up in her business. Somedays it may stress her out to have someone talk to her, but others not.
Honestly, talking to her, not asking abstract questions is the best way to start to connect with her. Thanks for asking. :)

rebekah

I don't say it often enough, but you are a hero. To me, anyway. Invisible cape & all.

korin

BUt i'm not. I'm just her mother. <3

GingerB

Hi, honey. A big "right on" to what you wrote. You might like to read http://birdonthestreet.com/2011/01/bucking-the-stereotype/

We all need to learn how to distinguish between the child and the condition, and how to help others and ourselves learn to talk about the grief of having the experience of a child with health problems not meaning that we grieve to have the child we got, and who we love wholeheartedly.

I personally struggle with how I want different things simultaneously - I want Hannah to not be noticed as different and yet I also want people to know how hard she has to work and to praise her and encourage. Possibly I am asking too much. I'll let you know if I ever figure that puzzle out.

I think you are a lovely mother.

Because I think you need a laugh - I have to tell you that I just can't read emoticons well, and every time I see <3 I think "balls" and not heart or love. Heh-heh.

korin

I used to think it was an ass with a hat. an asshat.

Roccie

It is sort of like you claimed the words back as your own.

Amanda Hill

We used to and still find us sibs calling stuff samish. little bro just had a way he did things. not good, bad, just samish. a memory i've been preoccupied with this week is the night my big bro got the first Queen album. it's was crappy, rainy, night and we got drenched busing to the store but he had saved and was determined to get the album the day the record came out. lil bro of course did the usual escape act at the store and mom was frustrated. we got home put the album on but lil bro had already claimed the living room rug. it was an oriental rug with a really decorative border and he would walk it endlessly. unfortunately when he was doing this no one could be in the middle of the rug. to this day have no idea why. so big bro and i made up the samish dance. never forget dancing around, holding, hands, twirling, stomping (lil bro's fav), singing to we will rock you in a rectangle. still have urge to move in rectangle and stomp my feet sometimes when i hear the song. and yeah he did eventually start sleeping through the night. i think around 1 st grade so maybe a full night's rest won't be too far off for you too. Lol. Here's to hoping! :)

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