55 months

My dear sweet Ruby Violet,

Today (ok well 6 days ago) you are 55 months old. Every day we creep closer and closer to FIVE, which truly blows my mind. FIVE it seems so grown up!  But we've got months before we get there, so I won't think on that now. 

This month has been one of wonder for you. You've been singing more, many times to songs you haven't heard in a long time, and lately often without any music on at all, you'll break out into songs that sometimes I recognize and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes when you get particularly excited about a part of a song, it comes out in a screechy scream, which while funny, is also quite loud.

A few days ago we were listening to the I am Sam soundtrack, when Blackbird came on. It's a song I've sung to you since before you were born, and has proven to be a song all about you. You insisted that we listen to it over and over and over, and you sang along, making me cry big fat tears of joy and gratitude for your very existence. 

 

We've spent a lot of time at OMSI, the Children's museum and other various indoor play places this month trying to fill the long cold hours of the afternoon after many sleepless nights. Yep, your sleep is all over the place again, which makes for a very tired  mama, but you're also going through a language explosion so I'll deal. You've started using scripts from your favorite books and videos, and while it's not always useful language, it's new language and I encourage what it will bring. Besides, it's pretty funny to hear you act out a Super Grover skit. 

Swing time is still a huge favorite. You love to have someone to interact with you while you're swinging, many times playing peek a boo, or singing songs or counting.  It's pretty fun stuff. 

The annual false spring has arrived here in Portland, so the temperatures have inched out of the 40s and the winds have receded so the bulbs are sending up shoots and the children are set free to play out doors again

Don't worry, we'll get another cold snap, and it will rain almost every day from now until June 15th, but we take advantage of the good days and reacquaint ourselves with the best playgrounds and the sweetest nature walks. 

SInce you're going to be FIVE in June, you're officially old enough for kindergarten. I can't tell you how much that freaks me out! I will have a kindergartner? HOW? WHAT? WHEN? Kindy for you won't be as simple as it is for some of your peers. We've begun the process of writing your IEP (Individual Education Plan) and mama is getting acquainted with Portland Public Schools services coordinators and how this will all work out. I've heard it can be a difficult process, and that it's not family centered, and that you never get what you want. Well I guess they haven't met me yet, have they. They don't realize that I won't step aside and let you (or any kid for that matter) get less than they need and deserve. Mama can be pretty nice, but she can also be pretty loud and assertive when it comes to her people, and you my sweet girl are one of my most favorite people.

I'm realizing as I go through this kindergarten process that the world is a tough place for a kid with Autism. I'm doing my best to make it a soft place for you to be, and to surround you with people who want to see you succeed. I sometimes wish I could slow this whole world down, as it moves a bit faster than you can handle, but I can't and I'm doing my very best to keep our little world turning at just the right pace for you.

 

Again and again and again, Mama

 

Comments

[Sarah]

God you're amazing.

And how the hell (no, autocorrect, I didn't mean he'll) are they almost FIVE? That's so much bigger than four, for real.

[Leticia Mout]

Oh MY! Kindergarten, Such an exciting time to be FIVE!
Ruby, you will be in the perfect place for you. We are all so proud of how fast you are growing and how much you are learning.
This spring you will blossom just like those bulbs that are peeking out of this wonderful earth and delight the world just like you always do. Love, Nana

[megan]

i love the last swirly photo. i, too, am completely amazed that our girls will soon be FIVE. wishing you the best in navigating PPS. i have no doubt that you will get ruby exactly what she needs... xo

[Susannah]

Love this!

[lady pumpkin]

Beautiful. And that Sarah Mclachlan version of Blackbird is just breathtakingly lovely, isn't it?

[kim]

I am so in love with these love letters to Ru. And you know I'm right there with you screaming "go get 'em" when it comes to your IEP stuff. You are without a doubt one of the best Mommas I know.

xoxo

[Lori]

I am friends with Kim and she told me that I had to come over for a "visit". I love it here, this is amazing and deep and real and so similar to my "normal". We are not dealing with Autism but my daughter has Down syndrome and sensory issues and soooo much of what you say pertains to us. Blackbirds...SOB! Love that movie too. Nice to "meet" you.
-Lori-
Feel free to pop over and visit us too.
http://www.itsjustlifex2.blogspot.com

[Roccie]

So many good thoughts coming your way.

[gingerb]

My eldest is almost five also, at the end of April, and it is indeed a magical age. You are a Mama Bear, and I have absolute faith that you will do everything necessary to get Ruby the best situation you can. I find it a bit daunting and Claire is not my special needs child, I just want to give her everything I can without considering whether it will be the right place for Hannah to follow, and yet, I really want them going the same place as much as possible, because, obviously, how do working moms move the kids around all the time? And our public schools here are generally not full day for kindergarten. So I am confused myself and of little help to you, but glad you go through school choice at the same time as me so I can follow your lead!

[K]

how lovely to read this
how you love your kiddo