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October 01, 2010

Comments

kris

I'm still trying to figure that out my friend, but I hope you know that you too are a wonderful person and have such huge worth just for being.

korin

I do know that, but I don't... you know? Hence the therapy. ;)

GingerB

Ahh, see, one more vote in favor of therapy, if I found the right someone. Maybe deep questions that would help me focus on positive things like self worth would make therapy a good idea - I just live in fear of crying through every session and having more headaches and crappy days and taking pills to feel better and using up time I could exercise, knit, blog, be with my family, or maybe be on my own now and then . . . damn these circular arguments with myself.

Guess what? We are, and we are fabulous. I'll try to remember that more tomorrow. I'm getting a little bored with angst and pain.

Thanks!

Arwyn

This is something I struggle with. For me, especially tricky is the balance between honestly valuing my abilities (neither belittling nor exaggerating them) without building my self-worth around them.

And I'll stop there, else leave a treatise on the topic, and you ain't gettin' paid enough to be my therapist.

k

Yes. Something I struggle with. Did I do enough around the house today? Did I do enough at work today? Did I play with the kids enough? Am I enough? Am I worth it based on what I did, how other people see me? Do I present a good enough front for other people to think everything is ok even if it's not?

There are exceptionally few people I can truly BE and be myself with. And after a lifetime of making it seem like everything is ok, the idea that there is someone who sees the real me and values me in spite of my insecurities about who that is has been mind blowing.

This is a constant struggle for me. Constant. You are not alone in that.

korin

Dude, Therapy is rad. The first visit isn't the one that makes you cry, it's the 10th.

K

how I love what you wrote
I am thinking of something along the same lines this month

Rach

this is HUGE.

it is incredibly freeing to not be living life according to how my body is producing, or how my child is producing, etc., etc...

have you read "coming to our senses" by jon kabat zinn?

LisaG

Ah such good questions. On one hand I get the concept of self-worth and I have more moments of internalizing it these days. Altho I'm really good about talking to clients about it :). On the other hand, my self-worth has a long history of being tied into how well I did in school (fortunately that came pretty easily), how quickly I learned something, how well I've learned something - I have completely ridiculous expectations of myself at times. Like I'm supposed to be the one person to do something perfectly the first time out. Talent, production, being "brilliant" = self-worth. Kinda f'ed up. Fortunately it's much less these days, maybe because the kiddo finally arrived?

Candice Aiston

It's kind of funny, I was thinking, "Gee thanks, therapist, if only it were that easy." Then I got to the part where you said, "What if I thought of myself in the same way I'm attempting to raise my child? that she is amazing and full of worth just by being?" and I thought, "Oh shit, it is that easy." If I believe that my child is full of worth for no reason other than that she is who she is, then I guess I have to believe it for myself too. Otherwise, how would I be believable when I tell her that about herself?

Thanks for this. And of course, you're awesome. :)

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