Just one thing? I kid I kid. I am not that full of self hatred. I have just the right amount. Well, truthfully, I don't *hate* anything about myself. There are several traits I have that I dislike, or wish I could alter. Several things I am working on that I hope to shift, but nothing I truly *hate* about myself. There is one thing about myself which I have no control over, and which I would change in a heartbeat if I could.
My skin.
Yes I know a lot of women don't like the skin they are in, but truly... I mean my skin. I have eczema that at best is mildly under control and at worst making my life an itchy hell. I can count on one hand (that is probably red and itchy) the number of days I spend a year without discomfort. Currently I'd say 85% of my body is red, itchy and spotted. It's delightful.
Don't try to give me advice. Trust me, I've tried it. No really, I have. I know what not to eat, what to eat, what supplements may or may not help, blah blah blah. I've tried every natural remedy under the sun. I've also used multiple pharmaceuticals. Some things work, some don't. Some things help, some make things worse.
At the end of every day, I really don't like the skin I'm in. My hands look old, my eyes look tired, and I spend a small fortune in lotion. I have to think about everything I eat, everything I touch and every activity. Can I wash the dishes without gloves? will pulling weeds irritate me? If I scratch the spot that itches will it become a rash? Yeah. it's pretty exhausting.
I bet you thought I was going to post about hating infertility, or my incessant need to please others, or my horrific desire to give more than I can emotionally afford. Nope. Believe it or not, this trumps all.
Stupid dermis.
Posted by: Heather J | October 12, 2010 at 09:24 PM
I wont offer answers, just an extra set of hands to scratch your ass lol
Posted by: Michelle | October 12, 2010 at 10:26 PM
But have you tried....
:)
Posted by: Megan D | October 12, 2010 at 10:56 PM
Yes, you've tried everything from the outside. Have you tried to change something on the inside? Symptoms are just a sign that something is wrong. Going after the symptoms might not be enough. Sometimes we need to look for what is creating these symptoms by looking at some aspects of our life and asking ourselves a different kind of questions : How do these symptoms make me feel? How does that benefit me at that moment? Who would I need to be for those symptoms not to come back?
Our body is trying to adapt to a changing environnment. A disease is just the way the body can express itself.
I had eczema. It was closely related to some frustration. I also tried everything, from creams to magic healers, but it was always coming back. When I took care of it by expressing myself more, being more authentic with myself, the eczema went away on its own, never to return again... It was hard work, but totally worth it.
Just a thought...
Posted by: Alex | October 13, 2010 at 01:27 AM
My skin. I'm so with you on that. I still break out like a 14 year old. All. The. Time. The only benefit is people still think I'm really young. HA.
No advice. I suppose we could cloak ourselves and walk around like we're incognito movie stars for awhile, though, that could be fun. :)
Posted by: kim | October 13, 2010 at 07:58 AM