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September 21, 2010



My last bout with grief was last month. I dunno. I sat withit as much as I could, I threw a few hissyfits (unfair, but I do), I readreadread a bunch. It just sucks. I miss my waterbaby.

I wrote a lot and made sure I was taking pictures. I online window shopped to distract myself, too, because during the day, mamas can't disolve.

I'm sure I don't have the answer, though. Grief just sucks. It is hard. And we move through because we must.

And <3


First, I am sorry, Korin. What I do with grief? Lately I got hit with it again, when I learned the results of Hannah's MRI and that they were worse than I'd expected. I told myself I had to post every day so I could really let my feelings out (didn't make the goal) but even though I keep moving my most emotional posts forward in the drafts folder and never publishing them, somehow it helped. I read books about people whose lives are much worse - like Suite Francaise and Skeletons at the Feast(by the author of Midwives). And I ate a lot of cheese and tried to hang on tight to the good stuff - that Hannah is in a period of extraordinary growth and joy is what is keeping me grounded and excited for the future. And cheese. I do get acupuncture and I use pharmaceutical help, for now. And I look at my lovely girls and kiss them until they squeal. I wish you healing, and in a hurry.

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