45 months

My dear amazing Ruby,

Today you are 45 months old. I almost put off writing this till tomorrow, because I had a headache, but then you had trouble falling asleep with your daddy, so I went up to take over. I sat next to you holding your hand, while you muttered and tossed and turned. Then I pulled out an old favorite and sang to you. 

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

take these broken wings and learn to fly

all your life, you were only waiting

for this moment to arise.

Over and over, just like when you were a newborn and we bounced till you'd pass out. Again and again, just like when you were teething and writhing in pain. Once more, just like when you are sick and can't find your way to the sandman. 

After a while, your breathing evened out and you relaxed your vice like grip on my fingers, as you drifted into a deep sleep. I sat watching you, breathing in your perfection, wondering what you dream of. 

This has been a huge month for you. Some days your language skills are incredible, stringing multiple sentences together, telling stories of your day (not that we understand everything you do say). You're talking about things that haven't happened yet, things that have already happened and telling me what you're seeing and thinking. 

You're singing more and more, and music is a huge part of your day. We listen to the same few CDs and although I know some mothers bore of hearing the same songs over and over, knowing that you're loving it so much, I just don't hate 'what's the name of that song' nearly as much as I would expect myself to. I realize that the repetition is helping you learn the words, to connect to the music, to understand what it's about. C is for cookie, and you know what? that's good enough for me too. 

One huge leap you've made this month is pretending. You've discovered your inner dinosaur and in some ways, it's more than my heart can bear. We were given two dinosaur costumes around halloween and they've sat in the dressup bin since, with little interest from you. However, this past week, they've not only sparked your interest, you've found complete and utter joy in them.

 

Dinosaurs are adorable

 

They also like to take reading breaks

 

Sometimes they are deep in thought

 
Sometimes they get thirsty

But mostly, they like to ROAR and get daddy. 

Ruby, you have no idea how amazing it is to watch you explore and pretend. One night after a particularly exciting dinosaur time, we headed upstairs for a shower and bedtime. You stripped down to nothing, and donned your dino costume again and tried to get in the shower with your dad. It was wildly hilarious, and honestly at this point if you wanted to sleep in that thing, I'd let you. 

 

Your daddy and I are willing wear our dinosaur or pirate costumes any time you need us to.

My darling Ruby, you have been lighting up my life for 45 months. I'm honored to be your mother, and proud of who you are. I can't wait to see what comes next. 

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

take these broken wings and learn to fly

all your life

you were only waiting

for this moment to arise

 
 

All my love, Mama.

Comments

[kelly]

your words fill me up and remind me and warm me and just so much. thanks for always sharing these with us. what an honor.

[GingerB]

Awww, that's just all beautiful and all. I love the costumes, they look so cuddly and tasty. Happy days, Ruby!

[Erin]

thank you for sharing your beautiful story! I also sing that song to Eva- its a beautiful thing to see how much Ruby is growing and changing!!! You are a wonderful mama!

[Rach]

crying my eyes out.

I love your writing, Korin...