On Mama guilt

I was raised catholic. I know guilt, born and raised with it. I didn't need to become a mama to develop a strong ability to make myself feel like crap over decisions I make. The big thing I feel the worst about with my parenting is tv/movie usage. I never wanted to be the parent that used tv/videos as a babysitter. I wanted to be one of those "tv free till 3" types... and I have failed that ideal entirely. 

Ruby didn't see a lick of TV till she was well over 1. Well, i'm sure she saw a little here and there, but we didn't intentionally put on shows for her. Then she got sick. SICK... hand foot and mouth disease style. Yowza. Toy Story saved the day. She would stop crying when it was on, as it distracted her from the incredible pain she was in. 

My dear friend Jessica  was trying to decrease the amount of tv her kid was watching, and she told me some wise wise words... "it's a slippery slope". Hell yes it is. Truthfully, most days (now that she doesn't nap) she watches one video mid afternoon for 'quiet time' , and then right before bed a short (very short, like 7 minutes) bedtime video. We've tried reading for bedtime, but it doesn't mellow her out the same way. Eventually I'd like bedtime to be about books, but for now, books get her too excited. 

So normally it's less than 2 hours a day, which is not horrid - not my lovely ideal, but not horrid. Today... another story. We've had grandma in town for a week, and she just left this morning, which coincided with a resurgence of cold for Ruby and I. So all of her needs must be met by me today, while I'm feeling kind of crapish and PMSy and she's snotty and tired. Suffice to say, it's been on a lot. When she asked for sesame street I didn't even hesitate to turn it on, 90 mins later we headed back to the kitchen to play in the water and eat. Then there was Finding Nemo while I rearranged and vacuumed the living room. You enjoyed moving furniture with me for all of 30 minutes, but then you needed distraction, and since the entire room was in shambles, Nemo it was. Lunch was had, and more water play, and then some (short cause I didn't feel so great) time outside followed by a long bath together. After bathtime, my sinuses cursing me, I turned on toy story to buy myself 80 minutes of quiet and time to get the bread made for dinner. 

Clearly she's not feeling great, cause on a regular day, she'd get bored with this much media and end up playing while it was on... today she just sat quietly and watched. Still, I have guilt that I'm rotting her brain and that she'll never read or something.  I mean, seriously. We're sick, we're tired. We're not dying sick, but sick enough that running around in the cold wind would be stupid, and I still feel bad for turning it on? 

I really need to learn to give myself a break, no?

Comments

[Adina]

Some days are like that. I was beating myself up about it a couple weeks ago - you know when we were recovering from pneumonia? LOL Telling myself that B would never want to read a book 'cause TV was easier. And it is. But it is also storytelling in a way I can't do it. I can read her the same stories, but she isn't quite at the stage where she wants to hear them all the time, or pay attention through mama reading all the words. So, for now, it is okay. I think as she gets more interested in the sounds of my voice reading her stories (which is already starting to happen) we will be able to decrease the tv usage. But some days (today was one for me too - super tired at 3pm couldn't focus on anything without nearly drifting off) the movie saves the day.

No one's brain is rotting. I think they are both doing just fine. :)

[Kris]

if it's any consolation, I was raised by the tv COMPLETELY, and I LOVE to read. I read happily, instead of watching tv, now as an adult.

As a child my mom read to me often, and she did a lot of other nice things like museums from time to time, but there was A LOT of TV at our house, all day long. It never went off, till everyone was asleep, and even then, sometimes it was still on.

[Kris]

not that i'm saying it was right, because I'm not the biggest fan of the tv, either, but that you shouldn't feel so bad about using it to help you once in a while.

[Devon]

Kids are just like us, and whenever I wonder about TV or anything else, I just think, What would I do for myself? And I am not a huge tv person, but when I am sick, or there's really rotten weather, all I want to do all day is veg. So no, there is abso-freaking-lutely nothing wrong with a TV day when your kid is too sick/pooped/etc to be interested in anything else!! Thank God for it, I say!!

(Meanwhile, I watched plenty of TV when I was kid and I was reading by 3. You have nothing to worry about.)

[Lee]

You are not alone!