Date night with the hubby. It's not often we get to go out. More often than many, not nearly as often as others.
Grandma is here (ryans mom) so we have a free sitter. We chose a movie (50/50) and sushi.
Movie: great. Not a comedy, tho I laughed often. Not really a sad movie, tho I cried more than I expected to. Touching. Sweet. Worth seeing.
Dinner: sushi at Bamboo. Awesome. Since I'm allergic to rice, sushi is rare. I have to be willing to get red and itchy for a few days. That was worth it. Trust me.
After dinner: beer at Coalition brewery. Maple porter. Yum. Reminded of how we used to go out often and drink much more. Don't miss the bills or the hangover.
Home early enough to try for a decent bedtime. I'm the last one awake, as usual.
Date night means laughing and reconnecting with my partner, talking about nothing and everything. Admitting where we need help and where we can give more.
I know, this isn't a shock, right? She's my kid, and I'm weird. But sometimes she's such a goof ball I just don't know what to make of it. Ever since she got her backpack for school, she takes it everywhere. It's adorable. Grocery store? Back pack on. Speech therapy? Back pack on. Target? Back pack. ON. She also feels the need to grab random objects and either carry them around, or put them in her back pack.
Yesterday, on a little shopping trip to Fred Meyer she took: Back pack, binoculars, noise canceling headphones, water bottle, coloring book, 3 pens. She did not need or use any of these items at Fred Meyer. See? weird.
Today, to speech therapy she took the following items: Back pack, jacket (it was warm), water bottle, snack bag (ok I packed it cause she didn't eat much lunch), 3 coloring books, 4 pages of stickers, 3 pens, magnifying glass. When we arrived at speech therapy, she brought all items in and used the stickers. Afterward we went to a playground and my kid brought the stickers and pens up on top of the play ground equipment and proceeded to sicker and color at the top of the slide. I'd hoped that we'd run around and burn off some energy, but laying in the sun on a crisp fall day was still pretty rad.
So, in conclusion, my kid is weird, and I love it.
This is what my Tuesday, a day off from work, looks like:
5:11 Kid wakes up, stays in own bed but makes enough noise to rouse me.
5:20 Kid is in my bed attempting to warm her hands in my armpits.
5:44 Child is on top of me, poking me in the eye shouting "get up! I want blueberries!"
6:10 Stumble downstairs to find husband brewing coffee and frantically packing for his trip.
6:30 Eating frozen blueberries and sausage by the heat vent.
6:35 Kiss husband good bye for 3 day trip to east coast. Already feel tired from solo parenting gig.
6:45 Make kids lunch. Yogurt, cheese stick, apple slices and quinoa pasta/spaghetti sauce.
7:00 Prep meds (fish oil mixed with like 400 other supplements and homemade chocolate syrup)Cajole, coerce, beg child to take meds.
7:15 Put on PBS to distract child into taking meds.
7:35 Start getting kid dressed.
7:45 Kid thinks the bus should be here, demands shoes and puts on back pack.
7:46 Kid melts down because bus is not here.
7:50 Melt down continues. Including stomping up stairs and throwing shoes over the railing.
7:58 Melt down ends by telling child the bus is here and I would hate to have her miss it.
8:00 Standing in front of house, waiting for bus. Child keeps saying "where is Ruby's bus?"
8:02 Bus arrives, child jumping up and down with glee. Bus driver states that route is changing and he'll give me new times this afternoon.
8:05 Alone at last! Pour coffee and debate what to do with free time.
8:05-9:02 drink coffee, do dishes, read facebook, start blog post.
9:10 Place bulk order for stuff to make Christmas presents
9:17 Realize I have had WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE AND THIS IS WHY I SHOULDN'T HAVE FREE TIME.
9:24 Consider yoga before acupuncture. Drink more coffee.
9:35 See two facebook pregnancy announcments. I think there was still pee drying on both sticks. Feel insanely jealous of people who have no idea what loss is.
9:40 Have hateful chat about Michelle Dug.gar with friend. It's much better than yoga.
9:50 Close computer. do 30 minutes of sun salutations.
10:25 breakfast and start beans for dinner.
ARE YOU BORED YET?
10:35 realize a certain FB dramaz has taken too much of my energy and decide it's time to leave for acupuncture.
10:58 notice what a beautiful fall were having.
11:50 laugh hysterically at acupuncturist fart story.
12:11 enjoy cute boy at stop light.
12:28 decide to go for a short run before therapy
1:00 realize that running between acupuncture and therapy is fucking brilliant.
2:03. I love my therapist. Not in an inappropriate way.
2:30 home. Lunch. Treat a patient and prep checks for deposit.
3:15 bus arrives early, bus driver walks Ruby to door because theya re 15 mins early and I don't hear the bus, kid is clearly distraught over this change. Must reassure child that Adnan is just the bus driver and not staying.
3:16 child demands spaghetti.
3:18 more spaghetti
3:22 third bowl of spaghetti
THIS HAS GOT TO BE BORING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!
3:40 kid poops while I answer the door. there is no end to the joy that poop in the toilet brings me.
3:45 head out for errands.
3:50 bank. I love depositing money.
4:00 pick ip milk. Nothing as delish as raw local milk. yum.
4:03 get on freeway to Forrest grove to pick up metric ton of honey.
5:20 Pick up 4 gallons of honey. Realize getting out of the car that my piriformis muscle is realy pissed at me and I can't step on right foot. Awesome.
5:22 get lost. in the dark. while GPS keeps leading me to a dead end.
5:28 punch gps.
5:37 curse my aching piriformis.
WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS???
5:42 traffic. How do people commute daily?? this is miserable!!
5:53 sit on child's boot to rake pressure off ass. HOLY HELL my butt hurts.
6:00 FUCKING TRAFFIC.
6:20 traffic Thank god I brought the iPad. Thank god for Curious George!
6:35 arrive home child pees as we get to toilet. clean up child and floor. Guess there is laundry in my evening.
6:38 Shovel food into kids mouth, grateful for the beans I started this morning.
6:55 medication fight ends in tears. Yay
7:00 shower ahhhhhhh.
7:20 pjs brush teeth
7:21 tell child we only have time for one book. Wait while she sorts through.
7:22 read the farmer in the Dell 3x.
7:33 lights out.
8:10 extract self from child, start laundry, make bean burritto.
8:40 type up blog post.
I'd like to tell you that I"m going to do something exciting, after this rivetting day, but... I'm going to clean the kitchen, fold a load of laundry and go to bed. I'm living on the edge, folks.
You ever have one of those new friendships crop up, and you think... this person is kinda cool, she's funny and smart and quick witted. She's quirky and cute and just maybe you could hang out and build a real friendship...
And then she admits that she likes dudes with chinstrap beards and soul patches.
And you're like... wha???
Anne, I think I have to break up with you. But don't worry, you have a whole plethora of douchebags waiting to keep you company.
In the past week, I've been unucky enough to be around no less than 5 people who have unfortunatley chosen to use the R word around me. What's the R word? Come on now, it's the last acceptable slur in our vernacular, the thing all teenagers call each other without questioning why it's wrong, it's the thing people call themselves when they do something stupid or ugly. It's disgusting and wrong. Retarded, tard, retard, or any variation with 'tard' at the end, it's all the same.
I debated heavily even writing this post, because every single person who said it in front of me, immediately looked stricken, and apologized and clearly realized their faux pas. In every instance, I looked at my friend, acquaintance or colleague and said "please don't use that word, it's not ok". I accepted the apologies and moved on. I figured if I tell people it's not ok, eventually it'll will sink in that it's not just NOT OK around me, but it's NOT OK ever.
Last night I was out with girlfriends, sharing many bottles wine, when one of my friends said it. I don't even know what was happening I just heard it and stopped. I said "Don't say that word. ever. It's not ok." And my friend, who is kind and compassionate and loves me and my kid and every human on this planet crumbled. It was as if she hadn't realized what she was saying and she was horrified. She immediately beat herself up and burst into tears, repeating how she is always the person who gets mad a other people who say it.
And that right there is why I needed to write this post. Because it's so ingrained in our history as an ok thing to say that when our defenses our down, when the wine has kicked in, it just comes out. I'll say right here and now, I love dearly each of my friends that has said this word recently. I don't hold it against them that this slipped out, especially because each of them realized it immediately and made amends. I don't hold it against them because they are human, and so am I and trust me sometimes I'm a complete asshole. To err is human, right?
But no matter how awesome you are, when you let this slip out, you are hurting people that may not be able to defend themselves. When you let this word enter your vernacular, you hurt people like my kid. My kid, who attends a special ed classroom, and who can't carry on a conversation, or get dressed without help. My kid, who may never be able to live alone, hold down a job or drive a car. My kid who may just end up being smarter than each and every one of us, and who may just hold the key to changing the world. But when you use the R word, you don't give her that chance, that opportunity, you strip her of her brilliance, and beauty.