A dozen years ago, when Ryan and I were just starting our journey toward parenthood, I started knitting a blanket. It was beautiful. Earth tones, Elsbeth Lavold silky wool, in a simple yet gorgeous circular pattern. I finished the main knitting in no time, but decided to hold off on weaving in the ends and the *finish* work until I knew we were bringing home a living baby.
Fast forward 4 years: on the day my water broke with Ruby I hastily sat on the couch watching Harry Potter and finishing the blanket. (Little did I know she wouldn't be born for several days). We were finally, finally, FINALLY! becoming parents. We had no idea who she was going to be or what we were in for. We had no idea how amazing she would be, or how astounding it would be to love her. Of course, we also had no idea that someday we would become a family of 5.
When the doctor told me we could take Mighty Mabel home tomorrow, this blanket was one of the first things I thought of. I texted Ryan and told him where to find it and that I needed it, and that it was VERY IMPORTANT.
You see, we've come full circle. This blanket was my wish for a family, my wish to experience motherhood, my wish to know this deep, unending, relentless love that drives me out of bed at 3 am when Ruby wakes up calling my name, that kept me rocking in a wooden chair long after I couldn't feel my legs because Lucy's tummy hurt, and that has given me the strength to spend 3.5 weeks within the walls of this hospital, keeping vigil over Mabel within my body and then without.
Of course this will be the blanket we wrap around Mighty Mabel as she leaves this coccoon that has protected her and helped her gain the strength and neurologic maturity in order to go home and thrive. We've come full circle, our family is complete. And my heart couldn't be happier.