My dear sweet Ruby,
Today you started first grade. In reality, it's not the most exciting thing that has happened to you in the past month, but we'll start there.
We had planned on taking you to class today since you have a new teacher and we wanted to meet him, but the bus showed up anyway and kind of threw you off. I think when we drove you to school you were just confused about what was happening, and then walking into your old classroom with a new teacher, not your beloved Ms. Foley kinda freaked you out. You clung to me like a never before, and buried your face in my chest. I ended up sitting on a mini chair and holding you while you kept saying in my ear "I'm really scared too! I'm really scared too!"
Your daddy and I patiently held you and tried to talk you into taking off your backpack and coloring with your buddy Colin or Carinna, but you couldn't pull your self away from either of us. Last year you were hesitant but this was the first time I'd seen you really nervous about school. It was pretty heartbreaking but with the help of one of your aides from last year, Miss Shelly, we were finally able to slip out and let you start your day. She helped you get involved in some coloring and building and finally you were able to say good bye. I have to admit, as much as I'm enjoying the quiet time here in the house, I can't wait to see your sweet face at 3 pm and hear how your day went. I have no doubt that you're going to love first grade, and you're going to rock it just like you rocked Kindy, but man, I miss you right now.
The other HUGE thing that happened to you this summer... You became a big sister. I'm not going to lie to you, I was a little worried about how bringing a baby into our lives would affect you. I wasn't sure if you would even like having a baby, much less be interested or helpful with him or her. I was worried you would have major regressions in potty or sleep and I was worried you would be angry or aggressive. I expected you to be a bit curious and then to want nothing to do with the baby, and part of me was expecting it to SUCK because if it didn't I'd happily be very wrong. What I wasn't expecting was this:
I wasn't expecting you to be madly in love with your sister. You SISTER. You're a big sister! (and I'm a mama to two girls!) When you met Lucy in the hospital you were mostly just scared that I was in bed and I looked weird and couldn't get up, but you were curious about her and wanted to see all of her little fingers and toes. When we brought her home, you just couldn't and can't get enough of her. We see a lot of this:
Because you constantly want to kiss her and pet her sweet head.
You spend a lot of time just looking at her, and examining each of her little parts, fingers, toes, ears, nose. I totally understand, I can't stop looking at her either, just like I couldn't stop looking at you when you were brand new.
Anytime someone comes over you immediatly tell them "LOOK! We got a BABY!" and " LOOK! it's baby LUCY!" which is also pretty much how I feel about it too. We got a baby and her name is LUCY! be still my heart.
You absolutely LOVE helping with things like changing diapers (well mostly you just giggle when she cries and you sometimes pick out the clean diaper, dependig on the color you like best) and every time we need to change her you say in a sing-songy way "I want to change the baby's diaper!" And you love watching her nurse, remarking to everyone that Lucy is getting some milk.
So far you're pretty much rocking the big sister gig. I have no doubt that we'll hit some bumps here and there, but right now, I was WRONG about how these first few weeks would go... and happily wrong! The amount of love and tenderness you show towards your little sister is so beautiful to behold, I can't believe I ever expected anything else because of course you're sweet and tender... you're Ruby. I can't wait to see how your relationship with Lucy unfolds. I can't WAIT to see what you think of her when she does more than eat and sleep and poop. I can't wait for the first time you make her laugh, or play peek a boo or when she's learning to crawl. Well I can wait, I'm in no hurry for either of you to grow up!
As all moms are when they're expecting a second child, I worried about how I'd split my time and love between two little humans. I worried that maybe I wouldn't have enough for both of you. How would I ever love another tiny person as much as I love you? And then, there she was and I loved her so fiercely and with such passion, and then there YOU were and I couldn't believe that it was possible for me to love you more, and yet I do. I don't know how, but I love you more every day than I did the day before.
Ever since you came into my life, you've surprised me and taught me new things. You've healed my broken heart more than once, and you've pushed me to the edge of my comfort zone MANY times forcing me to try new things, see new things and expect better of myself and the world around me. And now here you are doing it again, you've found another corner of my heart and are in there forcing it to expand in ways I never thought possible.
How did I get so lucky?