I don't ask you for much, but I'm here to ask you a big favor. A really really special friend of mine is newly pregnant. She's battled so much to get where she is. She's had more losses than any one should ever have (well If I had my way there wouldn't be any losses for anyone, but I digress) and she's been through many incarnations of the infertility war. She's ended a marriage, and is bravely entering into parenthood as a single woman. She is my hero is so many ways. She's strong and smart and creative. She is brave and sincere and vulnerable. She knows what she wants and is willing to do what is needed to get there. She is a woman, through and through and I love her with all parts of my heart.
So, universe, I need a little help here. With her history of loss, there is a lot of fear and worry in her heart and mind. Can you give her a break? Can she just have a normal healthy pregnancy? Can you just leave her alone and let her reach this goal unencumbered? Is that too much to ask?
Well in the absence of a sign from the universe, I did a makeshift binding ceremony, asking this baby to stay put until we give it the sign to come on out.
I began with one of my (many haha) fertility dolls. This doll was given to me by one of my coworkers. When she gave it to me, it had a beaded bracelet around it's waist with the instructions to break the beads when you wanted to conceive. Let's just say the bracelet was broken for a loooong time.
I then took some red yarn (cotton cashmere - only the softest and best!) that was left over from MY birth blessing ceremony almost 2 years ago, and a bead from my birth blessing necklace. I chose a bead that is a piece of moonstone (I think) wrapped in a wire, with intention of offering this baby a safe place to stay for another 38 weeks.
I then wrapped the yarn around the doll 10 times (I wanted to do 38 - for each week - but the doll would have been mummified!) for 10 months of pregnancy, with the bead in the center. And placed it on my altar with a stone that says "trust".
Trust, and faith are the hardest things to come by at this point in a pregnancy when you've fought so hard to get there. Hope is the other one that you just can't manufacture most days, but C knows that I'm holding the banner of hope high, for the days that she doesn't have much. She knows that I'm here, loving her, and loving her baby and holding them close to my heart.
I love you, my sweet friend.