KnittingZen

refashion, fashion?

Today during nap I decided to do a little wardrobe refashion. The jeans didn't fit, and they never fit well, always a little poochy at the hips. So... I tried turing them into a skirt. I left the seams unfinshed, so they will wear a little (the hobo look I have been calling it). As soon as I was done, the little and I decided to go for a walk....
Hey, I may not match but my feet are dry!

Good lord…

When did I become such a bad blogger? Oh yeah... when I went and had a baby. ;) I also used to think about interesting things, knit and read books. hmmm... I still think interesting things, but most of the time I get distracted and start playing peek-a-boo instead. I still knit, but only about 3 stitches a night instead of 3 hours. Books? well I just went back to the library for the first time in over a YEAR... and then I picked up my new copy of Harry Potter! So some reading has happened during naps and after bedtime. Ah, reading till my eyes are heavy is one of my favorite ways to fall asleep!

So... compacting... let's just say I'm off the wagon. I haven't cleared any clutter in MONTHS. And just yesterday I looked around and felt like I needed to. (I'm not saying my house/office didn't need it, but I just started feeling it closing in again yesterday). I haven't had much time or need to go thrifting. I have bought a few new objects, but not many. I had a slew of birthdays last month, and while I usually make gifts, I didn't have time or energy, so I did do some birthday shopping. I shopped locally, and tried to buy gifts that were renewable/reuseable. Camping gear, books, gardening stuff.

My baby girl had a birthday. We had a fun little party and gifts were kept to a minimum. I made her a secret bunny. It's a softie with a pocket so that each year on her birthday, i can put a note/treat/gift inside for her to find. Just thinking about her future birthdays fills me with glee and tears all at once. Imagining her as a 4 year old, giddy with excitement for her birthday morning... it's things like that, that I live for. Her daddy made her a ride on toy (also in the pix) that she has yet to ride. I think she's still a bit afraid of it.

So June was taken up by birthdays and camping and just being... not a bad way to spend a month, eh? July has been more of the same, including lots of berry picking, jams, pies and cobblers, a trip to the beach and many afternoons in the sun in the back yard. Another good month. I'm sure August will bring more of the same, and who knows when you'll see another post here!

I don't know about compacting goals... I'm not feeling any desires to shop, as I've never been a huge shopper. I need to clear more clutter, but don't have a burning desire to clear it. so... who knows where that will go from here.

Crafting... I've finally gotten back to the sewing machine, and have finished a few more pairs of shoes. I have decided that I need to craft to feel balanced, and why not make a little $$ at the same time? If I can make enough to feed my craft habits (or the habits I used to have!) it will be worth it. So... in the near future I'll be opening up a little etsy shop for shirts, shoes and other baby trinkets. Stay tuned.
I've gotten some knitting done also, but nothing to show just yet. I have cast on a new dress for Ruby, similar to the anouk, but a dress, not a pinafore, and I'm changing a few things. We'll see how it turns out. I also have a soaker on the needles and a soaker skirt/pants that needs to be finished. I'll get some shots soon, hopefully.

As far as balance in my life... I've realized how i need to swing more balance back toward my family, and I'm taking steps to get there. I decided at the end of may that leaving my baby three times a week to go to work and see patients sucks. I miss her. I want to hear her squealing with delight over the cats tail, and snuggle her when she falls. Since I can't quit working (unless we win the lottery) I'm doing the next best thing. We're going to renovate our basement (yes, I'll try to give a blow by blow, complete with pictures) and I'm moving my office home. The plan is that I'll have a nanny with Ruby during my treatment hours, and I'll be able to work just as much as I do now, but since I won't have any overhead, I'll actually make money instead of just break even. I can pay my student loans and even put money in the savings account. Most of all, I'll spend less time away from my precious nugget. I dont' think this will be any less stressful than what I'm doing now. In some ways it may be more stressful... but I think in the long run, it will make more sense for my family. And isn't that all that really matters?

Balance…

Yesterday Adina wrote about trying to find balance in her life now that she's a mama. Can I just say "amen!". Finding balance has always been difficult for me. Prior to having a baby, I was prone to excesses. I run my own business and sometimes I'd throw myself into it so much that I'd forget to enjoy life. Then there would be times that were the opposite. I'd get so involved in things outside of work that my business would suffer. Every once in a while, I would feel like I were achieving a nice balance in my life, and I'd have time for work, for craft, for exercise and housework. The only thing I really did differently during those times was that I forced myself to make time to do the things I loved. And it would seem so easy. It would just seem so easy during those times.
And then I had a baby, and wow, that sure does make it hard to have balance. The house NEEDS to be clean. Babies eat stuff off of the ground, so you can't not clean house. I have to keep my business running (even though I only work 4 half days a week) because that pesky government really does want their money back. I have to play with my baby cause... well she's so much fun! and we have to eat, and have clean clothes... on and on and on. Some days it seems like a crap shoot as to if the basics will get done. And then, like Adina mentions, I have started feeling like I'd go insane if I didn't find time to craft. Ruby won't sleep unless she's being worn, held, or laid with. So nap time was out, as was after bed time. Sometimes I can sit up after she's asleep and I can knit in bed, but sometimes (most of the time) I can't. I have learned to knit lying on my back with her asleep on my chest, and I can knit when she's in the front carrier. But lately, I've had the itch to sew.
So the other day I sent Ryan for a walk with Ruby and spent a glorious hour making some baby shoes. After the first pair, the rest seem easy... so I added a little applique t-shirt into the mix ((this is some wardrobe refashioning, as I took some onesies that were too short and turned them into t-shirts!)). All of the fabric was left overs from previous projects, or just stuff from my scrap pile. And how good it feels to craft! This morning, I sewed a pair of shoes while she slept in the carrier on my chest. Mama is learning how to multitask like a madwoman. Having the time to craft a little makes me feel human again. It's a step toward achieving balance, but of course, the breakfast dishes were in the sink when I left for work... so it's a give and take situation.

So, one big thing that came up for me regarding balance today... yesterday I left my computer charger at the office, and by the time I went to put ruby down for sleep last night, my laptop was dead. I usually get her to sleep then chat with friends online (and knit if I'm lucky) while she lies next to me. Last night I had no such option, so I ended up rocking her to sleep then feeling sleepy and going to bed at 9:45 with her. It felt fantastic to go to sleep so early, although I knew I would be missing my only hour or so to knit yesterday. This morning, computer still dead, and I wasn't going into the office till 1:30. I realized just how much more I could get done without my laptop on all day. I made a shirt/shoe combo, watered the yard, walked, swung on the swing with Ruby... and honestly I felt more attentive to her. It's usually running in the background as we do things, and I keep connected to others throughout the day that way. But now I'm feeling like a change is in order. I think its time to only connect a couple of specific times a day, and spend more of my day in the here and now. Part of me feels like a crap mom for just now noticing this when she's 10 months old, and part of me knows that it's ok, because it's how I keep connected to all of my friends throughout the day, and that's important for balance also. If I didn't I'd feel isolated and lonely, and that's not good for a mama.

So... we go on, a little to the left, a little to the right, just trying to keep balance.

Pix of the craftiness here!

Goals

So, in keeping with my two inspirations for this blog change (Adina and Kara) I'm going to start by listing my goals for 2007. I'll work on my official 'pledge' next but for today, some rough goals.
I'm not one for resolutions, they seem to never work out, but when I have clear simple goals, they can be attainable and satisfying. So with that in mind, here we go!

1. Clear the clutter I have overflowing closets and drawers, with clothes that don't fit, clothes that I'll never wear, and things I'm just too old for. I have a kitchen filled with items we'll never use, and that end up falling on my head when I open a cupboard. I have a craft room filled with endless possibilities that I'll never get to. I have a basement with a lot of junk in it. So....Out it goes! Goal #1 is to clear 500 items of clutter a month. (whew, that is scary to type, but if they can do it, so can I!) Things can be gifted, sold, donated or just plain trashed. Obviously not contributing to a landfill is my #1 goal, so trash will be the last option.

2.Save money Financially, we are doing alright. Saving money isn't so that we can pay bills. Saving money is so that after the bills are paid, we have space to ENJOY life, and to plan for our child's future. All of the tenets of the compact will lend to putting more money away, and less in the system.

3.Grow my own foodIn our first house we had a huge garden, and enjoyed fresh veggies all spring and summer. Once we moved three years ago, getting the yard managed was a huge task we just couldn't seem to tackle. First it was a money issue, then the depression of infertility that seemed to keep us huddled indoors all summer. Finally, last year we invested in an amazing landscaper and had the yard mostly finished (mostly - except the veggie garden). So...Grow it! This will entail getting Ryan to build the beds and help clear the space for the berries/fruit... and then we get to growing. I'd like to think that by next fall I can learn a little about winter growing, and keep a cold box (or is it a hot box) with something in it, but I'm going to keep this goal reasonable and just use the long growing season of the PNW and grow as much as we can. I think we'll join a CSA in the winter, depending on how our friends experience with it is. (and then maybe, if our garden is rocking, they can take the summer with CSA off next year, and share in our bounty!)

4.Keep a clean house(Adina, you have good goals, and I'm stealing them) I've (with the help of a great partner) been able to keep a tidy space, but with all the clutter, it feels like we are tidying all the time. People always say our house is always clean when they come over, but that's because I just cleaned it before they showed up. I'd like to keep on a regular schedule of cleaning so that it doesn't feel overwhelming, and that it becomes routine and easy. I bought a simple calendar that lists chores etc, and so far its helping... although SOMEONE I know has something brewing, and I'm going to be a test case.

5.Enjoy life What good is any of this if we don't enjoy life? I need to take time to knit, craft, write and expand my brain. I need to get out and walk in the sun. I need to meditate and stretch. I need to socialize with other mamas. I need to see the world and play in all it's wonders. This is a goal I try to achieve regularly anyway, but I like writing it. My goal around this is to do something AT LEAST ONCE A WEEKthat fills this need. I'm thinking I'll change that to once a day in a couple of months, but like I said before, attainable goals make for a happier mama.

So there are my rough goals. I may flesh each of them out more specifically later. But for now, I'm going to go work on my pledge. :D