KnittingZen

Holiday crafting and shopping...

I've been busy. Sick kid, sick mama, traveling, sick kid, and now the holidays are upon me. Oh how the holidays are upon me! My family has had a rule for 12 years that we make all of our holiday gifts, so I have crafty fever and not enough time in the day (especially since SOMEONE refuses to nap, or go to bed before midnight!) to get it all done. I've got a stack of things to make, and a few little things I want to buy... but do I? I've spent a lot of time this year thinking about how and where I spend my money. I have tried not to buy anything I don't need, and think long and hard about how and where the things I do buy are made or processed.
And now, the season of shopping is upon us. I love christmas and solstice and this season of giving and loving. But I'm not a huge fan of the consumerism that is attached to it. I love that my family has a rule of making gifts, although we still need to think about where the base supplies come from. We told everyone in our family that if they were buying Ruby a gift, we preferred no plastic and not made in china (and a few other requests) and that please, please, please, not to buy her more than 3 gifts. Heck, Baby Jesus only got three things, and it's his birthday right? (well it is for those who celebrate a christian holiday!) We are trying not to raise Ruby as a mass consumer, so we choose to buy locally made, organic, and used whenever possible. Still it's so hard, when I see toys, or clothes or what have you that would make her smile and giggle or just look adorable. It's hard not to BUY BUY BUY. I have to force myself to stop and think, really think about where it came from, it's impact on the world and the people who made it, where it's going to end up.

What about you?

refashion, fashion?

Today during nap I decided to do a little wardrobe refashion. The jeans didn't fit, and they never fit well, always a little poochy at the hips. So... I tried turing them into a skirt. I left the seams unfinshed, so they will wear a little (the hobo look I have been calling it). As soon as I was done, the little and I decided to go for a walk....
Hey, I may not match but my feet are dry!

Good lord…

When did I become such a bad blogger? Oh yeah... when I went and had a baby. ;) I also used to think about interesting things, knit and read books. hmmm... I still think interesting things, but most of the time I get distracted and start playing peek-a-boo instead. I still knit, but only about 3 stitches a night instead of 3 hours. Books? well I just went back to the library for the first time in over a YEAR... and then I picked up my new copy of Harry Potter! So some reading has happened during naps and after bedtime. Ah, reading till my eyes are heavy is one of my favorite ways to fall asleep!

So... compacting... let's just say I'm off the wagon. I haven't cleared any clutter in MONTHS. And just yesterday I looked around and felt like I needed to. (I'm not saying my house/office didn't need it, but I just started feeling it closing in again yesterday). I haven't had much time or need to go thrifting. I have bought a few new objects, but not many. I had a slew of birthdays last month, and while I usually make gifts, I didn't have time or energy, so I did do some birthday shopping. I shopped locally, and tried to buy gifts that were renewable/reuseable. Camping gear, books, gardening stuff.

My baby girl had a birthday. We had a fun little party and gifts were kept to a minimum. I made her a secret bunny. It's a softie with a pocket so that each year on her birthday, i can put a note/treat/gift inside for her to find. Just thinking about her future birthdays fills me with glee and tears all at once. Imagining her as a 4 year old, giddy with excitement for her birthday morning... it's things like that, that I live for. Her daddy made her a ride on toy (also in the pix) that she has yet to ride. I think she's still a bit afraid of it.

So June was taken up by birthdays and camping and just being... not a bad way to spend a month, eh? July has been more of the same, including lots of berry picking, jams, pies and cobblers, a trip to the beach and many afternoons in the sun in the back yard. Another good month. I'm sure August will bring more of the same, and who knows when you'll see another post here!

I don't know about compacting goals... I'm not feeling any desires to shop, as I've never been a huge shopper. I need to clear more clutter, but don't have a burning desire to clear it. so... who knows where that will go from here.

Crafting... I've finally gotten back to the sewing machine, and have finished a few more pairs of shoes. I have decided that I need to craft to feel balanced, and why not make a little $$ at the same time? If I can make enough to feed my craft habits (or the habits I used to have!) it will be worth it. So... in the near future I'll be opening up a little etsy shop for shirts, shoes and other baby trinkets. Stay tuned.
I've gotten some knitting done also, but nothing to show just yet. I have cast on a new dress for Ruby, similar to the anouk, but a dress, not a pinafore, and I'm changing a few things. We'll see how it turns out. I also have a soaker on the needles and a soaker skirt/pants that needs to be finished. I'll get some shots soon, hopefully.

As far as balance in my life... I've realized how i need to swing more balance back toward my family, and I'm taking steps to get there. I decided at the end of may that leaving my baby three times a week to go to work and see patients sucks. I miss her. I want to hear her squealing with delight over the cats tail, and snuggle her when she falls. Since I can't quit working (unless we win the lottery) I'm doing the next best thing. We're going to renovate our basement (yes, I'll try to give a blow by blow, complete with pictures) and I'm moving my office home. The plan is that I'll have a nanny with Ruby during my treatment hours, and I'll be able to work just as much as I do now, but since I won't have any overhead, I'll actually make money instead of just break even. I can pay my student loans and even put money in the savings account. Most of all, I'll spend less time away from my precious nugget. I dont' think this will be any less stressful than what I'm doing now. In some ways it may be more stressful... but I think in the long run, it will make more sense for my family. And isn't that all that really matters?

Balance…

Yesterday Adina wrote about trying to find balance in her life now that she's a mama. Can I just say "amen!". Finding balance has always been difficult for me. Prior to having a baby, I was prone to excesses. I run my own business and sometimes I'd throw myself into it so much that I'd forget to enjoy life. Then there would be times that were the opposite. I'd get so involved in things outside of work that my business would suffer. Every once in a while, I would feel like I were achieving a nice balance in my life, and I'd have time for work, for craft, for exercise and housework. The only thing I really did differently during those times was that I forced myself to make time to do the things I loved. And it would seem so easy. It would just seem so easy during those times.
And then I had a baby, and wow, that sure does make it hard to have balance. The house NEEDS to be clean. Babies eat stuff off of the ground, so you can't not clean house. I have to keep my business running (even though I only work 4 half days a week) because that pesky government really does want their money back. I have to play with my baby cause... well she's so much fun! and we have to eat, and have clean clothes... on and on and on. Some days it seems like a crap shoot as to if the basics will get done. And then, like Adina mentions, I have started feeling like I'd go insane if I didn't find time to craft. Ruby won't sleep unless she's being worn, held, or laid with. So nap time was out, as was after bed time. Sometimes I can sit up after she's asleep and I can knit in bed, but sometimes (most of the time) I can't. I have learned to knit lying on my back with her asleep on my chest, and I can knit when she's in the front carrier. But lately, I've had the itch to sew.
So the other day I sent Ryan for a walk with Ruby and spent a glorious hour making some baby shoes. After the first pair, the rest seem easy... so I added a little applique t-shirt into the mix ((this is some wardrobe refashioning, as I took some onesies that were too short and turned them into t-shirts!)). All of the fabric was left overs from previous projects, or just stuff from my scrap pile. And how good it feels to craft! This morning, I sewed a pair of shoes while she slept in the carrier on my chest. Mama is learning how to multitask like a madwoman. Having the time to craft a little makes me feel human again. It's a step toward achieving balance, but of course, the breakfast dishes were in the sink when I left for work... so it's a give and take situation.

So, one big thing that came up for me regarding balance today... yesterday I left my computer charger at the office, and by the time I went to put ruby down for sleep last night, my laptop was dead. I usually get her to sleep then chat with friends online (and knit if I'm lucky) while she lies next to me. Last night I had no such option, so I ended up rocking her to sleep then feeling sleepy and going to bed at 9:45 with her. It felt fantastic to go to sleep so early, although I knew I would be missing my only hour or so to knit yesterday. This morning, computer still dead, and I wasn't going into the office till 1:30. I realized just how much more I could get done without my laptop on all day. I made a shirt/shoe combo, watered the yard, walked, swung on the swing with Ruby... and honestly I felt more attentive to her. It's usually running in the background as we do things, and I keep connected to others throughout the day that way. But now I'm feeling like a change is in order. I think its time to only connect a couple of specific times a day, and spend more of my day in the here and now. Part of me feels like a crap mom for just now noticing this when she's 10 months old, and part of me knows that it's ok, because it's how I keep connected to all of my friends throughout the day, and that's important for balance also. If I didn't I'd feel isolated and lonely, and that's not good for a mama.

So... we go on, a little to the left, a little to the right, just trying to keep balance.

Pix of the craftiness here!